I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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