you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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