So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
