i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
honey bunches of taint.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
