I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
