There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
