im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
