She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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