the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
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I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
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Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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