Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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