yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
