I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize