Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
