It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
