At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm passing your future prison.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
