I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
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Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
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We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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