did you get engaged???
I wish my penis had an off switch
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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