Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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