Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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