is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
