I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize
