theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
