i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You pole danced in your parka.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
