But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
