Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
