i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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