it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
