Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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