Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
