her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
