Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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