dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
