I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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