no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
