the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
