She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
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He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
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The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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