Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
