I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
