How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
