just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
