I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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