i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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