You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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