he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
