what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
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he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
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I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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