We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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