Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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