Don't you send me to vm
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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