Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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