You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
