okay pat passed out under dana's car
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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