I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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