Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
