I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
