god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize