I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize