There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
