if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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